What I See While Taking A Dump-oo

SOMEBODY SAVE ME! THE CANTALOUPES! THE CANTALOUPES! THEY ARE ATTACKING MY LARGE INTESTINE! HELPPPPP! Fan turns on. Great, just great. Instead of saving me, you decide to save your poor selves and TURN ON THE FAN SO MY CANTALOUPE POOP SMELL WON'T GET ON YOUR CLOTHES. GREAT, JUST GREAT. GET A CAN OF LYSOL WHILE YOU'RE AT IT. Dude, I was just kidd- AHHHHHH!!!!!! OH MY GOSH! AWAY FROM THE FACE! DO NOT TOUCH THE FACE! YOU WILL RUIN MY *AHEM* SIDE VIEW. GET AWAY FROM ME! SPRAY ON YOUR OWN FACE! PEOPLE THESE DAYS! Yeah, go get a box while you're at it. That's right, I TOLD YOU TO GET A BOX. STUFF YOURSELF IN IT! STUFF YOURSELF! BE A TURKEY. GOBBLE. GOBBLE. GOBBLE. WUAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, go get a dragon, turn yourself into Martin Luther King Jr. Ride that dragon and tell everyone 'bout your dream. You know you want to. Oh my gosh, you're turning into a feminist now. JOIN ME! WE SHALL BECOME ROUND TABLE. WUAHAHAHAHA! Take that Julius Caesar! BAM! Now what? YOU CAN'T GO TO THE BEATLES! THEY HAVE CARS! THEY'RE GONNA GO VROOM VROOM AND YOU CAN'T 'CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE CARS! YOU ONLY HAVE A PRINTER! HA! HA! HA HA! OH YEAH! I WENT THERE! TWO HA'S! WUAHAHAHA! YOUR PRINTER DOESN'T EVEN HAVE COLORED INK! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?! HUH?! HUH?! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU GO ON HOME! OH NO IT'S OUT OF THE PARK! Okay, I'm done for now. >:D *spooky smile* for now....EHEHEHEHE